1985

March 26, 1985

Thanks for everything.

Another "No" from Oxford.

Hurrah. I just reserved 2 hours tomorrow morning on the IBM PC. I'm excited about getting my hands on it.

Computers - computers. Wonder how long it'll take me to get through this stage.
Preaching - 8 years
Alcoholics - 10 years
CofS - 10 years
Blake - 5 years
Computers - almost 6 months so far.

Thanks, Lord. It was all really good.    Tennis - 14 years.

Beginning Blake

Beginning of Blake

Most of this blog is found at Kwakesaur.
It was at a relatively uncreative moment in life that I got bit by the Blake disease. I spent 5 years studying it intensely and consolidated my thoughts and feelings about the poet in a book, now published at Larry's Blake.

For me his poetry had become one of the
primary "fountains of life". As a life long
student of the Bible I found an interpretive
principle in Blake, just today beginning to
be understood and used. His theology has now
become my own in a large degree. One of the
great keys is here:

"Throughout Eternity, I forgive you, you forgive me.
As the dear Redeemer said, this the wine and this the bread."

He was talking to God, but the idea applies to
all human relationships. Forgiveness is an
eternal activity and process. Jesus also
expressed that poetically with his 7 times
70 rejoinder to Peter's query about how many
times.

Forgiveness does not depend upon any
statement of the offending party such as
"I'm sorry". Those who have the faculty of
forgiveness never wait or feel dependent on
any "I'm sorry". God forgave us before we
commited the offending act.

All this forgiveness of others depends upon
our first forgiving ourselves and God. The
trinity found in the Great Commandment is
God, others, self. You can do it, but you
must first 'forgive God'. But what does
that mean? To me it means to accept the
universe as it is. Don't kick over the traces
like Paul did before the journey to Damascus.

All this, and a world of other good stuff, you
can find in Blake.

LONG AGO

Friday, July 27, 2012

Baton Rouge

A small city on the Mississippi some 90 miles north of New Orleans and the place I lived briefly when I was ten:

My parents had only a high school education, and with two small children they decided to do something about it.  We were living in Athens, about 25 miles north of Louisiana Tech.  In due course they graduated, with mother as valedictorian, and Dad about 5th in a large class  (he was also working full time at another job).

With such honors Dad thought they might likely qualify for fellowships to LSU; they made applications, but shortly received form letters saying their applications had been placed on file.  Dad is slow to anger, but he responded by asking for some sponsorship from a federal judge.

Almost by return mail they received notice that the two fellowships had been awarded, in history for Dad and English for mother.

That's how it was that at the age of ten I found myself living in the state capital.  It was an exciting experience.  We had an apartment in the center facing a large primitive park.  There I was introduced to football, which became the love of my life for the next five years.

The capitol went up about 65 floors, and one day my sister, Margaret, and I climbed it all the way to the top: talk about adventure!

The climax to this story had happened in the lobby of the capitol, a year before our climb:

Huey Long, a flaming liberal in a very conservative state was assassinated.

NOVEMBER 2017

On Nov 13, 2017, at 5:37 PM, Eleanor Clayton <eachone@earthlink.net> wrote:

 Copy of letter to family:
 I arrived home yesterday (Oct 10) at about 6 PM. I drove from Signal
 Mountain in about 11 hours. The driving was not as tiring as I expected
 it to be. I was 3 days on the road and 4 days at Joel's. If she had put
 me to work in the house and the yard I would have stayed longer but she
 likes to do everything herself in her own way.

> Hugh and Alison are going to build a new, larger home on Signal
> Mountain. Joel plans to build on the lot next to them. She hasn't told
> many friends about her plans yet but I suppose it is OK to tell family.
> They will be moving into a new development in which the homes are
> constructed by the developer. The date construction will begin has not
> been determined but the streets are built, the lots are cleared and the
> underground utilities are laid. I think construction will start on their
> houses in the first half of 2018.

> I enjoyed seeing Clemson and Brevard. Some ashes were spread at the
> cemetery of the Old Stone Church near the house we owned in Clemson. A
> relative of Larry's was the first pastor in 1797. I also sprinkled ashes
> in the gardens on the campus. The next morning I drove to Brevard and
> had a biscuit at the Burger King Dad and I frequented. I them went into
> the Pisgah Forest of deliver ashes into the creeks whose waters
> eventually flow into the Missdissippi River and the Gulf of Mexico.

> I found my way to Joel's house by instinct because I had forgotten
> highway names and landmarks. That was a long day but everything came
> together as I hoped it would. During my visit Joel fed me well and we
> did recollecting. I got to visit with Hugh, Alison and Ethan more than I
> expected to. I'm glad I renewed those family ties which form the
> foundation of who I am and how I fit into where I come from.

ROB'S TRIBUTE

THE SPIRIT OF MY FATHER

Dear Dad,

As you turn ninety, I wanted to write for you about you, especially about the qualities that connect us. These are the qualities that I see in you, that I am proud to see also in myself - your gifts to me. This is my way of thanking you and celebrating those gifts.  

SPIRITUALITY

Spirituality is the foundation, the theme that runs through your life and binds together my story of you. I learned from you to to regard the spiritual life as the true life, the material life as merely the scenery. Your dedication to Christ, your study of Jung, your obsession with Blake - all of these model for me the commitment to and fascination with, the inward journey and your spiritual path.

I've always admired your courage in moving us all to Washington so that we could be part of the Church of the Savior. You saw that spirituality could be deeper and pervade life more thoroughly - you heard a spiritual call, dropped everything, and followed. You showed me that spiritual impulse takes us where we belong.

I have not followed the same path that you have, but I am not sure they are so different ... both are paths of love, paths of compassion, paths of responsibility. You set my feet on this path many years ago, and I thank you.

JUSTICE

I have always felt a profound passion for justice, and I have always traced that passion back to you. You always taught me that Jehovah was the God of the oppressed and that Jesus was the champion of the downtrodden. You taught me that all people are children of God have inherent dignity and worth.

I'll never forget the story of your telling your parishioner about the big black woman who would be singing in the heavenly choir right next to her. It's a funny story, but it was a courageous thing to say, and I bet those courageous stands cost you.

I learned from you to stand up for justice, to stand shoulder to shoulder with my peers for fairness, and most of all to identify with the interest of all who are oppressed. I will be thinking of you when I'm on the picket lines next month.

You taught me to take my spirituality into the world and let it animate a vision of the just society, and I thank you for this wonderful gift.

COMPASSIONATE ACTION

You taught me, too, that vision and abstract justice are not enough, but that we must personally help those who are struggling. When I was a child, I knew that you walked with men who were struggling to escape addiction, and I was proud. When I was older, you humbled yourself and dedicated your time to housing the poor, and I watched with pride. Even now I see you ministering to the sick.

I see my work as a therapist as a direct continuation of your ministry, beloved Dad. I have a client now whom I see three days each week for no fee, and I often imagine him as a new incarnation of one of your old probationers. He has endured forty years of alcoholism and is wracked by terror, and terrible feelings of aloneness. Yet he also shows profound compassion and beauty of spirit, and writes the most beautiful poems. I dedicate my work with him to you, my father, in loving gratefulness for your compassionate example.

PERSONAL CONNECTION

Always, I have see you relating to others, connecting spiritually, building community. I remember the meetings you used to have at our house on Jersey Avenue with Miriam, Bob & Olga, Carla & many others, and I learned that all of these passions are not mere private introspections of abstract musings and commitments, but experiences to be shared with others. I have seen this again and again in your life as you engaged with others through Gateway, Second Step, coffee hour at the C of S, and you own Quaker gatherings. I see the very personal relationships, too, like the one you have built with Paul and Judith.

I feel a deep kinship with you in this profound valuing of interpersonal connection. My work as a therapist manifests this valuing, as I strive to bring healing through the process of connection, and I have learned from you to strive to deepen connection with those I meet on the path.

THE HERO'S JOURNEY

As long as I have been alive, Dad, I have seen you following your own path. You never made the conventional choice, but always the courageous one, when it was important. Letting spirit be your guide, rather than the values of those surrounding you, has been one of your greatest gifts to me.

Here I return to your decision to follow your calling to move to Washington and become part of the Church of the Savior. I don't think I knew at the time what an unconventional decision that was, but as I grew I began to realize the courage, the commitment and the fierce autonomy from mainstream expectations that decision required.

Your very commitment to spiritual reflects to me this constant choosing of the "road less traveled by." While others might have taken refuge from life's suffering, and the gains of aging, in even more comfort or mild addictions, you have gone for refuge to your old friend William.

As you have faced fearlessly this hero's journey, you have helped build in me my own courage to face that journey. When I faced the dead-end of my career in law and politics, instead of resigning myself to a life of quiet desperation, I followed your example and turned inward to find my true path. When a strange to whom I reached out suggested I get the help of a Jungian, it was like the ringing of a bell deep in my soul - a bell that you planted there. Because of your example, I was able to see that I did not have to follow the conventional path, that I could discard my conventional achievements and position and walk into the wilderness.

Now, having silenced the voices urging me to conventional successes, I have been able to hear the inner voice summoning me to my truer calling. Thank you for showing your son that, in fact one's own path is the only path.

YOUR SPIRIT IN ME

All of these qualities: your profound spirituality; your passion for justice; your identification with the oppressed; your compassionate service to others; your commitment to interpersonal engagement; and your commitment to following your own path; all of these qualities have been passed on to me. I find myself proud to feel that, in many ways, I am carrying on your works.

As we celebrate your 90TH birthday, as you draw ever closer to becoming, in Henry James' term, "all spirit," I hope that you can feel that, in the deepest way possible, I am truly your son, and that it brings you satisfaction and pleasure. I know that it brings me profound comfort, pride and delight to feel that I am, in the deepest way possible, your son and that you are, in the deepest way possible truly my father.

Robert Edwin Clayton, Psy.D.
15 March 2016

CHILDHOOD

I look to years ago to find an image for following the string and find one in my own childhood. My dad was an expert fisherman and fished at every opportunity. On occasion the line coming off the reel when someone (probably not my dad) was casting would become hopelessly snarled. When he brought it home, I might be enlisted to help with getting all the kinks out to make the yards of mono filament line usable again. Our old house was constructed in such a way that one could circle through all the rooms and return to where you began. So while daddy loosened the knots as the line came off the reel, I began walking around the house to stretch out the line. Round and around I went until all the tangles were unsnarled and Daddy could rewind his line on his reel to cast again on his next fishing trip.

Edwin Andrew Babylon
Hugh Roy Babylon
Friend
Biloxi Mississippi

PROFILE PICTURE